by Kathie Giorgio
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
The ignuana is the hero of this story. He's adorable, defensive, happy, eats voraciously, and lives a sweet, sweet life. Sadly he's not the main character (lol). The easiest way to describe Kathie Giorgio's novel is by comparing it to "As Good As It Gets" movie; but with a hetero 50+ couple, an iguana and birds instead of a dog. The bitter, angry, frustrated 'senior's talk' here is similar. As is the discussions about what it means to be 'happy' when you're past child rearing age.
What is a good life?
The primary focus of If You Tame Me is: what is a nice life? Does it have to include grandchildren, a spouse, an animal, a job, etc.? How do you define what is a nice or good when you are 55 years old, never married, have no children, and lack a companion of any kind. That is how we meet our leading lady.
There is a lot of great truth in this story that focuses on how those 'over the hill' can create a new life for themselves. But what does that look like? How do you make it happen? The obvious answer is that you must step out of your comfort zone and do things that are scary or anxiety inducing; like sign-up for an internet dating website, buying an iguana, or asking someone in for coffee. This is true at any age but I liked the focus here on those older; while showing that no matter our age we all have the same desires, needs, and hopes. To live a 'nice life'.
Feminism
There is A LOT of feminism in this book. Like to the point where I bet if you counted how many times that word, or a similar one is used it would be in the triple digits. And don't even start me on how often our leading lady refers to a fish needing a bicycle. It's a bit tiresome at points and much too beaten into the readers heads that we probably misunderstand the whole movement; and yet that wasn't even the most offensive thing in the story.
Giorgio and I greatly differ in one key area, that is a bit too prominent in her book, that I need to address. It would seem that Giorgio's focus on feminism is about control. She modifies it near the end of the story to mean consent (which is how I wish to define feminism: equal consent and standing). However on one key issue Giorgio is clearly still a bit too vanilla to understand some things...
Fifty Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades of Grey (while a terrible, terrible book with the worst writing I've ever read) IS NOT in any way RAPE or ABUSE. Period. This is a non-negotiable point. At no time does anyone in that book subject themselves to anything they do not enjoy or consent too. While they may be apprehensive and unsure this is not the same as screaming for your life while someone forces themselves upon you. Liking S&M, BDSM or other fantasy violent bedroom games is not perverse or wrong; it is a way to express yourself with your partner and enjoy yourself SAFELY. There is nothing wrong with it because it is done in a safe, consensual manner.
I understand that some may never understand this concept and for others it is trauma inducing. I am sorry for that; but I will not take away the rights and freedoms of some to enjoy their bedroom play just because someone is uncomfortable. This would be no different than telling someone they cannot kiss their same sex partner because someone is 'uncomfortable' to others. Not acceptable.
It is literally hurting NO ONE. If sometimes doesn't like the topic or feels uncomfortable then they too can leave the theatre, put the book down, or engage in their right to say no. Someone else's private choices does not put feminism back 10 years, change rules of consent, or make violent, unwanted behaviour acceptable. Those things are all still alive and well in our society. In fact some psychologists argue that those who express themselves violently with their consensual partner in the bedroom may in fact same themselves for acting out dangerously amoungst strangers. So how about we let people do as they wish knowing that consent has been given in these situations.
Overall
Once I calmed down a bit from raging about the comments made about FSoG in If You Tame Me; I was able to enjoy the cuteness again. It's a sickly sweet story that has moments of true clarity regarding how women are seen and treated in society (and absolutely every woman, no matter her age, should own a matching sexy set of bra and panties! I love the scene when the 70+ woman goes into Victoria Secret and gets herself a sexy set. Giorgio provides some insight into how lonely it can be to be alone; be it at age 55 or 25. I also like the straight-up admittance that wanting to be with someone and have a companion is not needy or wrong; it's natural human natural. We are social creatures (yes even us introverts need a bit of socialization) and do better when we have at least one confident to spend time with.
For the handling of loneliness, age, and exotic pets I give this 3 stars. I might otherwise have gone to 2 (as I am so angry about the BDSM representation); but just like our characters here I need to admit that something or someone can have both good and poor aspects to them.
If nothing else I learned that us exotic pet owners (I'm Mama to 3 snakes, including a 7'4" boa constrictor named Bowie) are always going to be seen as a bit odd and quirky; and that I hope at 55 years old I am still awesome enough to NOT fall into the 'nice' or 'typical' category by getting a kitten, and instead pick up that awesome reptile from the pet store.
Please note: I received an eARC of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. This is an honest and unbiased review.
View all my reviews
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
The ignuana is the hero of this story. He's adorable, defensive, happy, eats voraciously, and lives a sweet, sweet life. Sadly he's not the main character (lol). The easiest way to describe Kathie Giorgio's novel is by comparing it to "As Good As It Gets" movie; but with a hetero 50+ couple, an iguana and birds instead of a dog. The bitter, angry, frustrated 'senior's talk' here is similar. As is the discussions about what it means to be 'happy' when you're past child rearing age.
What is a good life?
The primary focus of If You Tame Me is: what is a nice life? Does it have to include grandchildren, a spouse, an animal, a job, etc.? How do you define what is a nice or good when you are 55 years old, never married, have no children, and lack a companion of any kind. That is how we meet our leading lady.
There is a lot of great truth in this story that focuses on how those 'over the hill' can create a new life for themselves. But what does that look like? How do you make it happen? The obvious answer is that you must step out of your comfort zone and do things that are scary or anxiety inducing; like sign-up for an internet dating website, buying an iguana, or asking someone in for coffee. This is true at any age but I liked the focus here on those older; while showing that no matter our age we all have the same desires, needs, and hopes. To live a 'nice life'.
Feminism
There is A LOT of feminism in this book. Like to the point where I bet if you counted how many times that word, or a similar one is used it would be in the triple digits. And don't even start me on how often our leading lady refers to a fish needing a bicycle. It's a bit tiresome at points and much too beaten into the readers heads that we probably misunderstand the whole movement; and yet that wasn't even the most offensive thing in the story.
Giorgio and I greatly differ in one key area, that is a bit too prominent in her book, that I need to address. It would seem that Giorgio's focus on feminism is about control. She modifies it near the end of the story to mean consent (which is how I wish to define feminism: equal consent and standing). However on one key issue Giorgio is clearly still a bit too vanilla to understand some things...
Fifty Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades of Grey (while a terrible, terrible book with the worst writing I've ever read) IS NOT in any way RAPE or ABUSE. Period. This is a non-negotiable point. At no time does anyone in that book subject themselves to anything they do not enjoy or consent too. While they may be apprehensive and unsure this is not the same as screaming for your life while someone forces themselves upon you. Liking S&M, BDSM or other fantasy violent bedroom games is not perverse or wrong; it is a way to express yourself with your partner and enjoy yourself SAFELY. There is nothing wrong with it because it is done in a safe, consensual manner.
I understand that some may never understand this concept and for others it is trauma inducing. I am sorry for that; but I will not take away the rights and freedoms of some to enjoy their bedroom play just because someone is uncomfortable. This would be no different than telling someone they cannot kiss their same sex partner because someone is 'uncomfortable' to others. Not acceptable.
It is literally hurting NO ONE. If sometimes doesn't like the topic or feels uncomfortable then they too can leave the theatre, put the book down, or engage in their right to say no. Someone else's private choices does not put feminism back 10 years, change rules of consent, or make violent, unwanted behaviour acceptable. Those things are all still alive and well in our society. In fact some psychologists argue that those who express themselves violently with their consensual partner in the bedroom may in fact same themselves for acting out dangerously amoungst strangers. So how about we let people do as they wish knowing that consent has been given in these situations.
Overall
Once I calmed down a bit from raging about the comments made about FSoG in If You Tame Me; I was able to enjoy the cuteness again. It's a sickly sweet story that has moments of true clarity regarding how women are seen and treated in society (and absolutely every woman, no matter her age, should own a matching sexy set of bra and panties! I love the scene when the 70+ woman goes into Victoria Secret and gets herself a sexy set. Giorgio provides some insight into how lonely it can be to be alone; be it at age 55 or 25. I also like the straight-up admittance that wanting to be with someone and have a companion is not needy or wrong; it's natural human natural. We are social creatures (yes even us introverts need a bit of socialization) and do better when we have at least one confident to spend time with.
For the handling of loneliness, age, and exotic pets I give this 3 stars. I might otherwise have gone to 2 (as I am so angry about the BDSM representation); but just like our characters here I need to admit that something or someone can have both good and poor aspects to them.
If nothing else I learned that us exotic pet owners (I'm Mama to 3 snakes, including a 7'4" boa constrictor named Bowie) are always going to be seen as a bit odd and quirky; and that I hope at 55 years old I am still awesome enough to NOT fall into the 'nice' or 'typical' category by getting a kitten, and instead pick up that awesome reptile from the pet store.
Please note: I received an eARC of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. This is an honest and unbiased review.
View all my reviews
1 comment:
It doesn't bode to well for the book if the animal sidekick is the best part, but then I just raved about a book because there as a racoon companion, sooo...I can kind of relate! Haha
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